Unnamed:Return
by UnMan
Summary: An old enemy; an indomnitable force. Ancient enemies stir and the Earth grows restless. Only a skeleton and a girl have any chance of standing against enemies new and very,very old. As darkness sweeps across the universe, a far greater threat emerges... Rated T for gore. Lots and lots of gore.
1. Emergence

**Hi guys! This story is about something... You don't know what it is, but it's coming and it's very, very old indeed. Post The Dying Of The Light, Ghastly is dead(I'm not in denial) but Darquesse might be coming back. This is my first fanfic. I apologise for any grammatical/punctuation mistakes I may make. Even if I don't get any reviews, I'll continue the story.**

**Chapter 0**

It was hungry. That was the first thing that crossed the mind of the being in the body of the faceless man. The thing was more than a little annoyed at all the maintenance necessary on these puny flesh constructs. They lmited it with all their silly requirements, their vulnerabilities. Why, oh why had it chosen to limit himself. He could burn this excuse for a civilisation in a billion different ways. He reminded himself that it had to play by its rules. It would be so much more fun to play a long game with the inhabitants of this world.

But it was best to find food before pondering any more. The thing leapt animalistically over the hillock and ran on all fours to the nearest human. As its legs carried it through the dense forest it resided in,its muscles rippling, the thing realised it could hardly eat without a mouth. But what was that expression so often used on this planet? Oh, yes. I'll cross that bridge when I come to now, all of its multifaceted mind was hellbent on its unfortunate prey.

And now that very same prey was waking up. Jeriamah Lucid and Bronte Lucid, his wife, were awoken by some sort of sixth sense. They felt un unusual shudder of fear, even though the room was empty. The two former Roarhaveners now lived in a fragile barn in the countryside. However, before either of them could so much as get out of the bed, the barn wall exploded. When the dust cleared, the pair found themselves looking at a man. But it was no ordinary man. He wore a suit and tie, but where his face and hair should have been was a smooth dome. Jeremiah screamed. After all, as far as he was concerned, this was a Faceless One come to torture him and his wife to death. Bronte had more presence of mind and fired a ball of white- hot fire at the thing. It smashed straight through the body, leaving a grisly hole in the thing's chest.

It was irritated now. Its body was damaged and it would take too much energy to heal. Yet again the thing contemplated showing them what it really was, burning this stupid galaxy off the map. But no. Food was just a few minutes away. But first it needed a mouth.

Bronte watched in growing horror as a split appeared across the thing's face, where the mouth should have been. The cracking of bone and tearing of flesh indicated that the split grew ever wider, forming something like a jaw. Soon the rip was large enough to fit the rest of its face in. Then, needles as white as bone began to penetrate the interior flesh, from the palette to the back of the throat. Bronte realised this abomination was growing something like a mouth, only a hundred times more vicous. She was off guard and didn't see the blue chains that pinned her and her husband down, like lamb for the slaughter.

It had them now. The thing contemplated which to eat and which to turn to its side. Finally it decided. The woman had hurt it, it was only fitting she died repairing the wound she'd inflicted. It brought down its jaws, savouring the crunching sound that indicated that her skull had split. But the thing wasn't after the flesh. It ripped off Bronte's head and stuffed his hand down her windpipe. It ruptured both of Bronte's lungs looking for its meal. Not that she needed them anymore. Finally, its hand came out, the blue of a soul shining within it. The creature stuffed the soul into her head and crushed it in its jaws. The soul would be slowly and painfully dissected for maximum food potential, no afterlife but a living hell of torture at the thing's hand. But now its fac was marred by a bloody stretch of torn flesh and an improvised, but messy, jaw. The creature repaired the torn flesh for the most part, leaving itself with only a small mouth. But the scars and bloodied jaw gave the impression that the thing was grinning.

Jeremiah was scared. Very,very scared. He'd just seen his wife killed in front of his eyes by something that could only be a Faceless One. And now it was his turn. The hands that were decievingly human rested on his forehead. And suddenly, painlessly, the thing sent a packet of information into his mind. Suddenly, Jeremiah understood what that thing was. But the knowledge came at a price. He now believed his entire purpose in life was to deliver a message dictated by that thing. Oh, yes. And he was utterly,utterly mad.

The creature flew high into the sky. It formed a serpentine tongue and uttered its first words in this body with a rasping, underused voice.

"It's been a long, long time."

**Awooga! Awooga! The bad thing detector has decteted somehing bad! Oh noez, I haz forgotz to put in a disclaimer! Well, I own nothing. Skulduggery Pleasant belongs entirely to Derek Landy nad his work and ideas have provided much of the structure for this story- although you may not see it yet. So, mention in the reviews what you think the monster is! But i'm almost certain no-one will realise.**


	2. Publicity

**Chapter 1:Publicity**

It was feeding time for the thing. It had been on a killing spree for the last two weeks, even caught on camera for a few seconds by its latest prey. It was unacceptable that the creature had already been discovered. In the depths of what these humans called the 'internet' there were clips, speculation and information on the thing. But they had at least gone to the effort of naming it. It was a good name. The Faceless Grinner. But soon enough the skeleton and the girl would know and they would come for it. The Faceless Grinner marvelled at how it had this knowledge, even though a few seconds ago it had had no idea of the dangers presented by unwanted publicity. It could gather its information and take vengeance, oh so sweet vengeance on those who had hurt it." _Soon,"_ it whispered to itself, "_ soon I will have by sweet revenge in blood and death!" _

Across the Emerald Isle, Skulduggery and Valkyrie were blissfully unaware of the Faceless Grinner, because they were too busy jumping off a cliff.

"Right, so how do we activate the parachutes!?"

"We needed parachutes?" replied Skulduggery.

"Of course we do, I can't fly, remember!"

"Well use your weirdo-power."

"It is _not_ a weirdo-power! Screamed Valkyrie in an unusually shrill voice.

Whether or not it was a weirdo power remained undecided, as the reason they were jumping off a cliff barrelled off it.

Nefarian Serpine's (rather late) revenge squad had arrived. To their eternal shame, all but one of them were too scared to go off the cliff. And the one who had had done so by accident.

Sparion Necessary, head of the group, screamed like a little girl as he pin wheeled down the cliff. By this point Valkyrie had used her new-found power to successfully not die. Sparion somehow put together an air cushion that left him with only one broken leg. He crawled towards Valkyrie.

"I...need..."

"yeah,yeah. Revenge and all that." And so saying, Valkyrie sent a blast of white light that melted the gun out of her hands.

" no...I...need...a...hospital."

Once Sparion was happily locked up and the rest of the gang had fled, Valkyrie found herself once more taking the long drive to Haggard. As she entered the decrepit outskirts, she noticed that practically every TV had a very disturbing news story on it.

"Skulduggery, you might want to see this."

Every news channel was showing the exact same clip. A faceless man leaping down from above the camera's perspective, facing an unfortunate man. For no apparent reason the man screamed and ran away. The thing was after him in seconds, sprinting on all fours like an animal. Shrill screams, the tearing of flesh and snapping of bone were all melodies to accompany this grisly orchestra. Thankfully what happened to the man was outside the view of the camera. Eventually the thing came back, blood spattered, with a corpse in tow. It looked up at the camera and when it did, Valkyrie was utterly across the smooth dome of flesh was an enourmous scar that gave the impression that this abomination was grinning. At the centre of the two scars, a thin mouth of razor sharp teeth that lacked lips was displayed. But the most chilling part was yet to come. It looked directly at the camera and, rather than roar or growl, spoke.

"I'm coming for you." then it ripped open the scar tissue and dislocated and broke its bones, forming an impossibly large mouth. It leapt at the camera and bit down. Then the camera went black.

"It is believed that this is a clip from a CCTV camera in a car park. This clip was taken at one o' clock exactly." Droned the BBC news**( A/N I'm British, if someone could tell me about any Irish news channels I'll happily edit)** presenter. Valkyrie noticed something was wrong. The presenter was shaking and sweating- two signs of extreme fear. Without warning, the creature known as the Faceless Grinner poked its head into the frame.

"Please let me go. I've done everything I was told. Don't hurt me!"

The Grinner didn't reply. It didn't need to. A shard of broken bone began to grow from its arm, forming a bone-claw-spear-thing. The claw ripped into the presenter's throat and spurted blood everywhere. When it retracted, the man's jugular was on its end. The creature bit down hard on it, causing a squelching, tearing sound. The presenter lay, bathed in blood, dead in his chair.

The Grinner growled,

"It begins."


	3. Escape

**Chapter 2: Escape**

She was hurt. Her power was waning as she ran through the forest. She could feel the impossible presence of some creauture nearby. If she didn't look up, she could convince herself this was just the battle at Aranmore. But it was so much worse. The blood red sun bathed the world of the Faceless Ones. A slight rustle to her left and Darquesse fired a ball of lethal energy that should kill the Faceless One nearby. That scumbag Skulduggery had tricked her. _Her!_ She couldn't believe it. For the last five years Darquesse had run from the unholy wrath of the Faceless Ones. They always caught her, and killed her and somehow _brought her back._ But recently she had noticed an even greater power to the west. And it didn't seem malovelent. It felt like it was calling across the vastness of continents. And it was not a call she could refuse.

Darquesse liked to name the entity 'the source.' she really had no idea why she was going towards it, what she believed it might achieve. She was just hopeful that maybe a weapon or an esape might be located there. Or it could be a trick. God, how she hoped it wasn't. Darquesse was close now. She could feel it. The raw power seemed to strengthen her and weaken the Faceless Ones. Darquesse approached the clearing. What would be there? A portal? A weapon. A... nothing. The clearing was empty. Darquesse knelt and sobbed her eyes out. There was no way out. No hope. Just a cruel, sick trick by those... things. She could feel her heart beating and her ears popped in that customary way of warning of the Faceless Ones. But, as she despaired, she heard something. Another message from the power that had brought her here. Slipsty? Frifty-hine? Fifty-eight. Fifty-seven. With a jolt, Darquesse realised it was a countdown. But to what? However, her curiosity was curbed by the first Faceless One as it wandered out of the forest.

It raised its hand and lifted her up, twisting every joint and bone in her body. But one of them was little more than an irritance to Darquesse. A beam of energy vaporised its head and killed it. Unfortunately more wandered into the clearing, this time more powerful.v Dozen of hands lifted, delivering telekinetic punches, shoves and stomps, snapping bones and doing intense brain damage. Darquesse realised that the Faceless Ones could probably hear the countdown too and wouldn't ressurect her till it ended. Her brain was damaged and destroyed. She had to play her ace in the hole. She clasped her hands with a supreme effort and let the silver light build up. Not to its full power-that would plain out destroy the galctic cluster she was in- but at extremely low power. Nonetheless, the effect of the shockwave was visible from space, crossing the entire planet, atomizing all but the ground and tearing apart the vicious Faceless Ones that held her in a death grip. The countdown reached zero.

Darquesse was in an enourmous crater that went down to the planet's mantle. However she had no time to admire the destruction she had caused as she was being sucked into a portal that, unbeknownst to her, led into space. She flew through it with glee as she realised that she had escaped at last. As she looked around she found herself in the blackness of space, with stars glitterring around her. Just her luck. It was also just her luck that two Faceless Ones had somehow survived and followed her through, although she didn't know this and wouldn't any time soon. She glancedaround for some indication of a planet. When she found herself staring at... could it be? The moon! Which meant she was orbiting Earth. Perfect for her plans, revenge and the subconscious obssession seeded by the power that had led her here.

Darquesse gazed out from the Dublin rooftop she had chosen just for its view. It had been unfortunate that she'd had to take a mans life to get there.

"It's good to be home."

**I know it's kind of weird ending every chapter so far with someone saying a one-liner, but I'll probably stop soon. Also, no more chapters today, since I did all three today.**


	4. The Fall

**Sorry for all the delay. School and stuff got in the way but that's no excuse. Hope you guys enjoy. This'll be the regular size of my chapters from now on**

**Chapter 3: The fall**

The niggling fear that had lurked in Valkyrie's mind for days had almost been forgotten. The Grinner. The string of brutal murders. _Almost._ But not quite. Still that terrible fear grew. That thing was familiar. She had seen it before-at Aranmore. Or one like it. Her dreams were haunted by a man in black, a man whose face couldn't be seen. She knew, as she had known all that time, that things would never end well with it. And soon that horrible, terrible fear was confirmed.

"We need to report back to China. My god, I never thought I'd say that sentence." giggled Valkyrie.

"You do have a point, as weird is that is. We really need to get back to the Sanctuary." She and Skulduggery had been on a long and very, very boring hunt for an utterly idiotic and incompetent murderer. Or attempted murderer. Really, he'd just knocked someone of a cliff by accident and declared himself a killer. Now it was time to head back to the Sanctuary with his unconscious body in tow.

The long drive back to the Sanctuary gave Valkyrie some time to mull over things. Needless to say, mulling over eldritch abominations in the dark is not exactly beneficial to your mental state. Valkyrie, being Valkyrie, did it anyway. No doubt the Grinner would return at some point...

The cleaver glanced at its fellows. The look gave off a clear message: Goodbye. The door smashed. There was a flurry of scythes and armour and then it was over.

Valkyrie's first indication that something was wrong was the silence. Even in the utmost dead of night, builders still scrabbled about the ruined district in the hopes of rebuilding it. Ever since Roarhaven city's foundation, people were busy walking around, living out their lives. So why was it silent? Why on Earth weren't people bustling around, filling the streets with incessant chatter?

Her second sign was much more direct. As she and Skulduggery wandered towards the Sanctuary, they came across a dead body. It was extremely fresh and looked to be one of the Roarhaveners. Valkyrie wondered what exactly was bad enough to scare away the entire population of Roarhaven and/or kill them horribly. Already theories were beggining to form in the back of her mind as she visualised a faceless man slicing through the Main Street of Roarhaven.

The door began to splinter.

"Slow it down!" China instucted to the newly-ressurected Black Cleaver. It gave no reply, instead leaping out of the door in a crash of splinters. It collided with the opponent and drove it ruthlessly back down the Sanctuary corridors.

Valkyrie's third and final sign was by far the worst. As she approached the street that housed the Sanctuary entrance, she turned a corner and wretched at the sight that awaited her. In front of her, as far as the eye could see, there were dozens of corpses. Hanging from the signs, strung up by their own intestines, decapitated, torn limb from limb by some creature of unimaginable strength. Some had just been disembowelled and left there. To her horror, Valkyrie realised that not all of them were even dead. A Cleaver with his chest burst open still gave ragged breaths that flowed from his ruptured lungs intothe open air. Before Valkyrie could try to heal him with her new magic, he screamed.

"Run! Run from this town and never look back. Tell Curious to remember me. It came, it came from the blood red sky!

The Cleaver gave an insane yet dilapidated giggle before coughing up an instestine and choking on it. Skulduggery sprinted over to her.

"What happened here?!"

"He just sort of babbled about running and something that came from the 'blood red sky.'

"Right, that's it. We need to get to the Sanctuary _now_!"

Valkyrie and Skulduggery made a beline through the Sanctuary looking for the Grand Mage's office. Needless to say, they came across several more corpses. The walls were splattered with blood. Practically every one of the dead was either an operative or a Cleaver. As they made their way to the Terrace,they came across the dying form of the Adminstrator. Skulduggery rushed into the Terrace**(A/N It's a thing I made up.)** he marvelled at the amazing architecture, even in the circumstances. The enormous room stretched two hundred metres by thirty metres, with butresses and arches and all that fancy stuff. Dottted in equal distances were some sort of sciency thing that looked important. They were, in fact, malice detectors. If Valkyrie had taken one look at them, she would have known that something unimaginably malicous was in the room with them. However, she couldn't look, because at that very moment she bumped into a cleaver.

The Faceless Grinner looked down at the two Cleavers that had somehow evaded it so far. It had stealthily crept and leapt through the twisting routes of the Sanctuary. It could smell their fear, it could hear their regrets, see into their minds. But the girl and the skeleton(who, ironically enough, had just walked in) were unusual. The skeleton was no more a man, or a thing that was meant to be in this world. It was an Isthmus Anchor to the world of the dead. The girl had the Old Magic at her fingertips. Such power, yet no knowledge of what she was becoming. Faceless...

It leapt down with impossible ferocity, crushing the first Cleaver's skull with a touch. It whirled round and used the claws growing from its fingertipts to slice the jugular of the second with little more than a thought. But wait. It had whirled too far. It was sclicing at the bones of the Ressurected man. He laughed, pulled out a piece of metal known on this world as a 'gun' and fired fragments of metal at the Grinner. He was more than a little surprised when the bullets crumpled against his skin, which was still in perfect condition. But he was determined and sent a stream of heat and light at the thing. When he was drained, The Faceless Grinner grabbed his skull and wrenched ir from his neck with ease. He tossed the head to the furthest end of the room.

Valkyrie was terrified. The Grinner had ambushed the unfortunate Cleaver and killed him with a touch. But she had still been certain that she could kill it. However, the revolver had just bounced off of its skin. The Cleaver leapt, bringing his scythe down with all his strength. It didn't even cut, but it drove back the Grinner. The Cleaver set up a flying kick and drove the Grinner even further back, towards the edge of the room. Then he sprinted away into the corridor. Valkyrie gaped. Why had he done that? Cleavers were meant to be fearless and at any rate, the two of them had been pushing back the Grinner. The Grinner got up at a leisurely pace. It knew that it had Valkyrie. Telling herself not to panic, she pulled out the Sceptre with one hand and curled her magic into a bolt of energy on the other.

The Grinner ambled towards Valkyrie. It could sense the Old Magic curling around her hand, but surely she had no ide how to use it. In her other hand was a crystal that carried power infinitely older than The Faceless Ones ever would be. But again, she obviously didn't understand the power she wielded or it would be dead right now. Contrary to the thing's beliefs, she sent twin bolts of black and white lightning towards it. The Grinner was horrified. That power was a threat enough to kill the form it now inhabited. The girl, it decided, could wait. And just like that, it blurred its form for a pecosecond and ran fast enough to look as if it were teleporting.

Valkyrie breathed a sigh of relief. Evidently her powers and the Sceptre's were enough to scare the thing away. She carefully, anxiously put together Skulduggery again, all the time expecting an ambush. But none came. In fact, they made the rest of the journey to China's office without even a single problem or complication, not counting the occassinal tripping over corpses thing. As they turned the corner, they found themselves horrified to see the Black Cleaver torn apart once more. Its various parts were repairing themselves and coming together, but it would be a while until it was ready to fight once more. In the centre of the room, China lay unconscious. As she stirred and began to get back up, Valkyrie rushed over to her.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I am. You thin... you think I never thought of this. The sigil it's on my... it's on my back. Press it. I'll be fine."

"What did this, China?" asked Skulduggery.

"The Grinner. It's left the mortal world in panic.

But before that.. There was a messenger. An insane", ridiculous messenger. Jeremiah Lucid. I'm starting to understand what he said now, though.

"_What did he say?_"

"He said.. he said..."

China paused for breath.

"The Unnamed is risen."


End file.
